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Paint Your Life In Full Color


If life is a canvas, most of us use only a few colors to paint, often the same few colors over and over and over again. We get a new job or find a new lover or move to a new city thinking that each new time will be different. But the colors we mix on our palette remain the same. And sooner or later, the new job, the new lover, the new location becomes a pale imitation of the life we were trying to repaint.

If you want a different painting, you have to use different colors. Likewise, if you want a vibrant painting, you have to use a variety of vibrant colors.

We all have a rainbow of color inside us waiting to be fully unleashed upon the canvas of life. How many colors are you using?

Take This Smile and Shove It Up Your A**: Why Telling Someone To Smile When They Don’t Really Feel Like It Can Do More Harm Than Good


Yesterday I walked into an elevator with a woman huddled in the corner, her face buried in her phone. She didn’t acknowledge me as I walked in and sensing her need for space, I left her alone. Two floors up, the elevator stopped and another woman walked in, a particularly jovial character that seemed to come straight out of a book of cliche characters. She engaged the phone lady in a conversation that I immediately could tell was going nowhere. She was trying to cheer her up. She said stock statements such as “turn that frown upside down” and “it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.” As the jovial woman left with her parting words of wisdom, the fake smile that the phone lady had put on in an attempt for social acceptance and politeness quickly disappeared.

Alone again, I blurted, “you want to tell her to take that smile and shove it up her ass, don’t you?” read more…

Letter To My Unborn Child – Straight up, real life advice for a soon-to-be real kid in a real world


Dearest little one,

I love you to pieces. I don’t even know you yet but I so absolutely love you, I can’t stand it. Literally. When I think of you my knees shake and I fall to the floor. Just thinking of you fills me with a liquid love so deep, so rich and viscous, if you flipped me upside down, I’d be like a Dairy Queen Blizzard and not a drop of love would drip. Just the thought of you turns me into mush and I haven’t even met you yet! Imagine what will happen to me when we do meet?

And this is why I’m writing to you today, my little one, well before you come into my life and turn me and everything I know about it into mush. While I can still think and act coherently, I figure I better share with you some valuable, unconventional insights I’ve learned in this so called life of mine. And maybe if I forget because you’re so damn adorable and I can’t think straight (or maybe because your poop stinks so bad some of my brain cells died), you can remind me of these things from time to time. Deal? read more…

How To Meditate For Stress Relief (not for all that woo woo spiritual stuff)

meditationIn my previous blog about meditation, I shared how meditation helped me rise out of depression. While I’m no longer depressed, I still meditate daily. It helps me center, refocus on what’s truly important in life, relieve stress, stay healthy, explore deeper dimensions of myself and a myriad of other benefits.

Meditation isn’t something you do once and you’re forevermore enlightened. It’s a regular practice, like becoming a master composer. You have to do it regularly. Did Beethoven stop creating music once he mastered it? If he did, we may have never experienced the beauty of his Moonlight Sonata. read more…

Meditation: The Natural (and Free) Antidepressant


Many people ask me how to meditate. My answer is always the same, for newbies and gurus alike: Just sit. And breathe.

I’ve been meditating consistently for over 20 years. It started out of necessity, life or death, actually. If you’ve been following my blog, you know that in my late teens, early twenties, I was severely depressed, on the verge of suicide daily. A psychiatrist diagnosed me with Manic Depressive Syndrome, now commonly known as Bipolar Disorder. He wanted to give me drugs. Back then, there weren’t a hundred different types to choose from and Prozac, Zoloft and Paxil were not common household names. People didn’t sit around in coffee shops casually comparing their antidepressants as if they were talking about favorite coffee flavors. I didn’t know much about it but I knew that I didn’t want to be a muted, drugged out zombie. I wanted to LIVE, fully, awake, aware, present. read more…

Go Ahead, Have a Tantrum


If life has knocked you down, if you feel beaten and worn, it’s ok. Don’t fight those feelings because you think it’s not “spiritual” to feel that way or because it’s not the “enlightened” thing to do. Allow yourself to feel beaten. Go ahead, have a tantrum. Cry. Scream. Kick. Beg. Plead. Freak out.

While it may seem contrary to what you’ve learned about positive thinking and feeling good, allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel, no matter how bad, can often lead to feeling better. Sometimes you just have to go through the emotions to get to the other side of them. read more…