I’m baaack! Miss me?
I can’t believe it’s been 6 months since I started my sabbatical! If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that in March, I announced that I needed to take a month off to heal some deep wounds and focus on my health. If you’re new to my list or if you don’t remember (seriously, who even remembers what they had for breakfast yesterday morning!?), you can read about it here.
Back then, I didn’t anticipate that I’d take 6 months off. I thought it would only be one, maybe two, max.
Back then, I didn’t anticipate that my medical condition would still be the same 6 months later. I thought if I healed my inner wounds, the external would heal too.
Back then, I didn’t anticipate that I’d ascend to a whole new level of existence, a whole new way of BEING in this world, but not of it. I thought I was just working on some buried emotional pain.
But the truth is…
We are not in control of our lives.
As the old saying goes, “Man plans and God laughs.”
During my six-month inner vision quest, I’ve tumbled deep down the rabbit hole and have emerged humbled, cracked open and surrendered to anything that comes my way – whether I agree with it, understand it, want it… or not.
I always thought I was the captain of my ship. Put your mind on something, go after it, and it’s yours. Time and time again, I’ve proven to myself that I CAN have everything I want. It’s this steadfast belief and take-charge-of-your-own-
Except…. sometimes while we’re busy making plans, life makes its own plans for us. Sometimes we can only follow our own path for so long, and then we start to see that maybe there’s another path. One we hadn’t been ready to see… or commit to, because we were so busy forging our own way, surviving, thriving, going after what we want, whacking all the weeds out of our way, trudging uphill, doing everything we can to make a good life for ourselves and those we love.
I’ve come to know that we can only go so far on our own path, on this level of existence, before we discover that there’s something divinely more, something much, much bigger and deeper than our human self with all its desires, yearnings, problems and successes – and this is the important part – we surrender to it.
To some of you reading this, you’ll have no idea what I’m talking about. And that’s okay. These words are for those of you who are in the midst of a calling to surrender. You know who you are. Somehow all this jibber jabber is resonating with you, isn’t it? There’s something awakening, brewing inside you like a familiar cup of tea.
This post is for you… especially if you’ve been experiencing unexplained depression, anxiety, sorrow, deep anger or disconnection lately.
Hmmmmm…. I wonder what that’s about?
Go deeper. Look beyond the surface of things.
There’s a calling in there for you.
The consciousness of our planet is shifting.
You feel it, don’t you?
You might not be able to explain it, or put your finger on it, or understand it. And maybe you’ve been beating yourself up for feeling so “off” lately.
Let me tell you this now… it’s not your fault.
It’s your gift.
It’s the shift.
It’s happening.
With or without you.
Go deeper into yourself (not your human self with its personality and judgments and hurts). I’m talking about YOU, who you really are. Your soul.
Go deeper.
Sit. Be still. Breathe. Witness.
I trust you’ll find a new path, one divinely created just for you.
In love and light,
Tree & Stick Girl
Tree!! Welcome back!! Your post resonated so much with me and what Ive been going through lately!!! I really can’t believe it!! It’s all too much to share here so I’ll have to find another way!! I’ve missed you too along with everyone else!!
I’ve missed you too, Claire! 🙂 (and I received your other mode of communication, lol) 😉
Welcome back Tree! You e been missed, but everyone here gets the need for shifting inward for a wee bit.
I’ve found some wonderfully healing podcasts lately with Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay that I’ve shared with family…positivity rules when we’re stuck in rabbit holes and are ready to start the long climb out to the light again.
Hugs and much happiness to you Tree…
Lovely Michelle. 🙂 Thanks so much for the words of support. For the most part, I’m loving the rabbit holes so far, not sure I want to climb out. 😀
Mirror mirror … thank you Tree for sharing. I am feeling the same and your sharing I so needed to hear today. Lovely to have you back. Sending much love.
Thank you sweet Tracey. Happy to be back and thanks so much for mirroring ME! 🙂
Yassssss girl! Diving into the rabbit hole myself and emerging sporadically for air before submerging again. Every time I’m scared to death…and then I re-emerge a little clearer, a little stronger, a little wiser. Your words move my heart and I’m glad to have you pop into my inbox again! Love and Trust, Aria
Thanks Aria! Maybe we’ll bump into each other down there during one of our deep dives into the rabbit hole! 🙂 Glad you’re re-emerging in a more expanded way. Thanks so much for sharing!
I have missed you and am very happy you took time for yourself to heal on many levels. All of August I have felt off kilter with depression and irritation with others and was annoyed at myself. Now there appears to have been a shift in both myself and all that surrounds me. A clear gentle inner voice nudges me daily to assess and ” let go of all I no longer need.” This is scary and liberating at the same time.
Thank you so much for being brave and sharing your journey with us!
YES, Mary! Well said. Love this. Thank YOU for sharing a part of your journey with us here, too. Lots of love.
Well Tree and Stick Girl, too ! Welcome back to the land of the living on purpose ! Sometimes those rabbit holes are really worth your time to investigate! You just might find CARATS instead of carrots !!
Ginny! I missed you! But then again, you were here all along. Silly rabbit, how could I have missed you then? 😀 Loving those rabbit holes. So nice to see you.
Tree you know I’m out here and you are talking to me for sure!! It’s scary in this place. It I’m trusting! Thank you for all you do and share. Love claire.
😉 I agree, Claire. That place can be pretty damn scary. Nothing sweet and playful about it. Sometimes we trust when there’s nothing left to trust. Then just when we think we can’t trust anymore (after all, what’s the point? we haven’t seen any evidence of it getting better), we reach deep within ourselves and find just a fraction of an ounce of trust left. And then we use that up until it’s gone. Then we are forced to go deeper and find more. There is always more. Sending you lots of love, my friend. Thank YOU for trusting!
Glad you are back ! I worried you were done with the Tree and Stick girl project and that I had missed it as just recently discovered your site before you went on leave. Your experience resonates. I feel those things too and beat myself up about them. It would be great if I could understand and appreciate this experience instead of feeling inadequate about it.
Thanks for the lovely welcome back! 🙂 Tree & Stick Girl will never be done. 😉 My best suggestion is to sit with the feelings of inadequacy instead of fighting and resisting it or wishing you could appreciate things more. Instead, witness it and honor it as part of the process of growing, learning, evolving. Use those feelings of inadequacy as your little reminders to yourself to honor what you’re feeling in any given moment, even if it feels like crap. THIS is the practice. This is the work we’re meant to do. It’s not about being happy happy joy joy all the time. Until you actually ascend to that place, it’s about honoring exactly where you are in the moment. Much love to you.
I am SO unmotivated.I used to have more energy than I knew what to do with. I can’t figure out how to move forward.
I went to a counselor and not only was she terribly expensive, she was a young grad who didn’t have a clue about what I was talking about. I have social anxiety.
My dreams tell me how introverted I am. (As if I didn’t already know). I live in a tropical zone, and I’m hoping I can get out once it cools off.
I decided to not be a doormat anymore. Now the phone never rings. I’m so lost. I wish I could be the go-to person for everyone again but I am emotionally and physically exhausted and can’t “help” others anymore.
I keep praying for deliverance from this isolated hell. Nothing’s happened. I might as well be the only person on earth.
Thank you so much for your sharing and allowing us to share too. I have absolutely no one to talk to about how I feel these days. They don’t understand nor do they care to hear it. I’m different. I am an INFJ and an HSP. I’m told: you just need to get on with your life! Find yourself a nice boyfriend!
Ugh.
Jenny, thanks for sharing from such a vulnerable space. You’re not alone, I bet there are many others who feel this way too. Maybe being unmotivated is the perfect place to be right now. There’s a season for everything, some last longer than we want, but no matter where you are, trust that you’re in the perfect space at the perfect time (even if you don’t understand it or want it.) Perhaps this is a call to surrender to what is. It’s in our darkest hours that we feel the call (the motivation – ironically) to surrender. I’m holding the space of love, clarity and light for you. Thanks again for sharing a part of yourself with us here today. You are loved.
Hi,
Responding to the email and post. Im relating to deep hurts that took me back 2 years and now am aware if I removed my ego, being upset at myself for my reaction to this pain, I most likely would have healed
Quicker. Growth is a process and the hurt I am referring to is
Experiencing traumas as my clients experience it. I have trouble accepting people behaving the way they do to their fellow man. While testisfying for an innocent baby I was deeply hurt by the legal system.
Im a true empath feeling and knowing what my patients and their loved ones experience even if I haven’t met them .
Im healing. For the post above. Social anxiety in easy to overcome quickly with the right therapist. Cindy Jill North LCSW
Hi Cindy. Thanks for sharing your experience. Aaahh, ego…. I’m learning to make friends with mine. This is perhaps the most beautiful article I’ve ever read about ego and its many faces: https://dharmacomics.com/tale-terrified-monster/, written by a lovely writer and artist, Leah Pearlman. Hope you enjoy it. As an empath, I too feel the weight of injustice and sorrows of human interaction. I urge you to go even deeper beyond what you feel as an empath and human. There is a bigger picture that can only be sensed outside the physical senses and believe it or not, outside of human emotion and mind. You are doing so well and you’re in perfect alignment with what you’re supposed to be going through. Thank you for helping so many in this world, through your work, your compassion and by simply being YOU.
Thankyou. Well stated. “ Because ultimately I’m in a hurry to be loved, ultimately by me. And how can I love what I cannot see? How can I love what I forbid and deny? How could I ever know whether or not I’m worthy, when I’m offering up an image, illusion, or aspiration, instead of the real deal?“
Re: https://dharmacomics.com/tale-terrified-monster/
You deserved to rest! I am so happy that you are back!!!!
Thank you, Janell! 🙂 So happy to be back!
Are you ok? Sending you love
I’m very well, Kathy! Thanks for caring and thanks for sending love. I received it. 😉 How are you?