[UPDATE: this event is over but you can listen to my talk here.]
Last week, I invited you to join me and an exclusive gathering of visionary empaths, sensitives, and intuitive leaders and teachers — including Dr. Judith Orloff, Grandmother Flordemayo, Wendy De Rosa, Sonia Choquette, Dr. Christine Page and more, at the Evolutionary Empath Summit 2019.
And then I learned that my session will be immediately following Wendy De Rosa and preceding Alan Seale on Thursday, May 16, 2019. That means my talk is wedged between the Founder of the School of Intuitive Studies and the Founder of the Center for Transformational Presence. And in the middle, you have uhhhh…. lil’ ol’ me, the Founder of… ummmm… Stick Girl? A website? A beautiful rock in the forest?
Get why I’m feeling a bit insecure?
I told my man the other day that I didn’t feel as “big” as some of the experts on the panel and I was worried that what I deliver may not be good enough.
He gave me the most unloving, insensitive, sledge-hammer-in-your-face advice ever!
And I love him for it.
You see, I was lost in a moment of “not-good-enoughitis” – you know that syndrome… it’s the twin sister of comparisonitis, when you compare yourself to others, see all their incredible accomplishments, amazing social media posts and you suddenly develop amnesia and forget all the wonderful things you’ve ever done and all the great things about yourself and you feel like a total loser, a fraud, a fake. Even though inherently, deep down, you KNOW you’re not… you still feel like it anyway.
Yep, I went there.
I was only there for a minute or two, though it had been building up in subtle pop-up thoughts here and there that I’d flick away like flies on a sweaty summer hike. But eventually, they finally swarmed me when I wasn’t paying attention to the present moment, and took over.
Fortunately, I have an incredibly insensitive tell-it-like-it-is man who doesn’t care about hurting my feelings and doesn’t bother softening his words around me. You think I’m kidding about the “fortunately” part, but I’m really not. I’m very fortunate that my boyfriend recognizes my inner strength and knows that I not only appreciate but also can handle the truth. He knows that if he holds me and strokes my hair and says “oh baby, you know you’re amazing,” that I’ll feel consoled and soothed, but it really won’t snap me out of it.
So instead, he said harshly, “Get over yourself!”
He said this to me once before when we first started hanging out years ago. I was sulking about my recent breakup and instead of consoling me in a sweet, soft way, he hit me with a verbal sledge-hammer that instantly made me realize I was feeling sorry for myself and so self-absorbed, I couldn’t see beyond my own limited perceptions.
I knew then that he was the one for me. I knew he would never, ever let me get away with being less than I am. I knew that he would never coddle me or tip-toe around the truth, but instead would tell me what I need to hear.
So when he told me to get over myself this time, I knew he was right.
I was self-absorbed again, wallowing in my own insecurity, losing my true SELF in my limited perceptions about myself.
Immediately, my mind switched from “I’m not good enough compared to all these other famous experts” to “What I have to offer is good enough for those who need it – and those who need to hear it in the exact way that I offer it.”
Do you see the shift?
This is important, so I’ll spell it out.
Imagine you’re feeling down on yourself and someone tells you:
“You’re a beautiful soul and you’re good enough. You are worthy. God loves you.”
While this is true, does this ever snap any of us out of our insecurities? Or does it just make us feel slightly better within our own insecurity. But you’re still feeling unworthy. With these statements, true as they are, the focus is still on YOU. And in the moment of vibrating limiting thought energy about yourself, those words don’t do much to change your vibration because they are still self-focused, self-serving and self-absorbed, and they only do head service because they’re nothing more than empty words if you don’t believe them.
Now contrast that to the three magic words:
“Get over yourself.”
If you stay present beyond the initial offensiveness, you’ll quickly realize this statement is geared to help you do exactly that, get over yourself and all your thoughts of insecurity. It also gives you an ACTION. It’s not a passive statement affirming truth like the first scenario, it’s an active statement affirming an implied truth – that there’s something more important than you and your insecurities. This statement is not so much about YOU as it is about GETTING OVER your limited perceptions about yourself. The focus is shifted off you so that you can put your attention on something more important… service to others.
For me, those three magic words, “Get over yourself,” instantly catapults me out of myself (and all my self-serving thoughts) and puts the focus back on what’s more important, serving OTHERS.
I realized (for the gazillionth time) that it’s not about ME. It’s about those I’m here to serve. It’s about YOU.
It doesn’t matter if I’m the Founder of Something Important or Nothing Important…
…what matters is that I help YOU find your true self.
And so, when I pay attention to my thoughts of not-good-enoughness or unworthiness, I’m serving my own limited perceptions.
I’d rather serve others than my own limited perceptions any day, wouldn’t you?
Have you ever noticed how many years you’ve been trying to believe in yourself? How many seminars, workshops and courses have you taken, how many books have you read, how many audio programs have you listened to, how many affirmations have you made about how worthy you are?
And yet, here you are… still feeling not-good-enough. You might feel good enough until you stretch beyond your comfort zone (get a new job, new relationship, new speaker invitation or anything new) and then you’re back into those old feelings of unworthiness again.
How is it that it’s taken you this many years and you still feel not good enough?
Could it be because all the other well-meaning self-help advice is missing one key element? All of it focuses on YOU. None of it focuses on what you’re here TO DO.
On your death bed, which of these statements would make you feel the most fulfilled when uttered as your last statement:
1) I helped inspire hundreds of people to live happier, more meaningful lives.
2) I finally know my own worth.
Take a moment to pause and think about that.
Which statement makes you feel most like you lived a life worth living?
Maybe you want both.
But I believe you get to know your own worth by helping others know theirs.
So next time you’re feeling unworthy, get over yourself, and focus on what you can do for others.
The moment you “get over yourself” and turn your focus and attention on serving others, all those limited perceptions about yourself fade into the background.
And what’s left in front of you is the pure joy of serving others.
If you haven’t already signed up, you can still join me at The Evolutionary Empath Summit, a one-of-a-kind online series (at no charge) as we illuminate the path for you to rise to your full potential and fulfill your highest mission and purpose.
Here’s some of what we’ll be sharing with you…
- Judith Orloff will share self-protection strategies to help you prevent compassion fatigue, combat narcissists and other energy vampires, and integrate a jaguar protection meditation.
- Grandmother Flordemayo will discuss how immersing yourself within nature using the four sacred elements can help replenish your soul and rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit.
- Wendy De Rosa will help you discover your power as a healer, and will show you how to transform from the wounded healer to the empowered healer.
- Sonia Choquette will show you how intuition unfolds in stages, first connecting you with your vibes, then your guides, and finally with your creative flow — empowering you to become a masterful joyful creator of your life, in tune with your true, natural design.
- Dr. Christine Page will share how your intuition is the loving messenger of your soul, and how to attune your intuition so you can apply love and wisdom to the soul messages you receive every day.
- Grandmother Sasa will show you how to take care of yourself as a healer so you can bring health and vitality to others.
- Titanya Dahlin will guide you with tips on raising the new generation of empathic children (also known as Indigo, Rainbow, or Opalescent Children).
- Jean Haner will show you what type of sensitivity you have (hint: you probably have more than one!) and how to follow your unique, personal map to power.
- Rollin McCraty will illuminate how energetic sensitivity is related to intuition and empathy… and why extending genuine heart qualities — such as gratitude, compassion, or tolerance — affects your heart’s ability to synchronize with others.
[UPDATE: this event is over but you can listen to my talk here.]