I quit.
I’m done.
I’ve had it.
I quit.
Sorry, no two-week notice. No training the next person. No exit interview.
Thank you very much, I’m outta here.
Love,
Tree
Yesterday morning around 8:30, I was “having a moment”. Not a life-is-beautiful-relish-the-moment kind of moment. But a the-world-is-crashing-in-on-me-fast-get-the-hell-out-of-dodge kind of moment. So I sent this text to my boyfriend.
My Godman is used to my little freak out moments. He’s used to getting texts like this from me randomly and frequently. And he doesn’t overreact to them. That’s why he’s my Godman.
He may not understand my mini-outbursts because he was admittedly miraculously born without feelings or sensitivity, but he accepts them. Partly because he knows I just watched the sunset 3 days ago. And partly because he accepts me as I am.
And he knows exactly what to do to make me feel better.
He doesn’t play into the drama. He doesn’t buy into the story. And he doesn’t stop everything he’s doing to come rescue me on his majestic white horse, sword drawn and waving menacingly in the sky.
He knows that these moments only last exactly that – mere moments. Sometimes I feel emotions so intensely that I develop sudden and temporary Alzheimer’s. I forget that emotions come and go, that they don’t linger forever unless I hold onto them. And I forget that the rest of my life – outside of those 20 seconds – is pretty damn good.
After I texted him, I felt better. And happy, relaxed Tree came back.
But this morning, I had another freak out moment. Again.
About the same things.
And happy, relaxed Tree disappeared.
Why did I freak out?
Because I had an August 31st deadline with my book publisher. Today is September 1. And I’m still staring at a blank page.
Why else?
Because I have a September 13th deadline with an interview I did with Mark Manson nearly 3 weeks ago for a Huffington Post article. And I still haven’t opened the audio recording since the day we hung up.
Why else?
Because I promised my readers answers to their questions from Elaine Aron’s new movie, Sensitive and In Love. And I still haven’t read the 2-week old email from the producers of the movie with all the answers.
Why else?
Because I’ve been hand-picked to be a success story case study for a multi-gazillion dollar business course. And I haven’t done a damn thing to keep up with their benchmarks and timelines.
Why else?
Because I’m opening my course again in November. And I haven’t even started working on the new modules or any of the launch elements.
Why else?
Because I’m giving up my 1 on 1 private coaching practice in order to serve more people in less time. And in order to do that, I need to spend more time restructuring my business model and the thought of everything that entails overwhelms me.
Why else?
Because I have 48 unread emails from my readers that are 2 months old. And I still have no idea when I’ll find the time to personally respond to each one.
Why else?
Because I’m tired. And I’m not perfect. And I’m tired. And I can’t do everything. And I’m tired.
So, I quit.
I quit trying so hard.
I quit overstretching myself.
I quit rushing through projects just to get it done.
I quit having mini-text-meltdowns (OK, maybe this one’s a lie)
I quit saying YES to everything I want.
I learned long ago to say NO to things I don’t want.
And I’ve been saying YES to things I do want.
The problem is that when you start saying YES to things you want, more things-you-want comes. And then you have to learn how to say NO to even the things you want, because sometimes it’s just too much.
Sounds like a great problem to have.
Unless you’re a highly sensitive over-achiever who gets overstimulated with more than 1.25 things on your To-Do list.
The thing is I want to do every single one of those listed above. I LOVE writing. I LOVE working on my course. I LOVE reading and responding to reader emails. I love all of it.
But I can’t do ALL of them ALL at once. Not even a week. Not even a month. And evidently, not even 6 months.
So, I quit.
I quit everything-all-at-once syndrome.
In the same way that I can only devote my heart, soul and body to ONE man, I can only devote my time, energy and focus to ONE project.
I will no longer try to do five things in one hour.
I will now try to do one thing in five hours.
And I will do that one thing with full presence, mindfulness and a sense of lightheartedness.
If it doesn’t get done, it doesn’t get done.
As long as no one sends a tweet to the Earth to stop spinning, I think I’m good.
This is the way I work best.
This is the way I thrive.
And this is the way I actually get to enjoy doing the things I love.
So what do you quit? I’d love to read your resignation letters in the comments below.
(But I may not respond for a few months… because, well, you know…. I just quit and all.)
YES!!!! I Quit so much. Step one, stop making myself feel better, just feel whatever is happening in the moment.
Double YES!!!
Congratulations! Part of me wants to be you. Part of me thinks I already am you. Thank you for sharing. I love the way you write. You make a whole lot of people feel less alone, I have no doubt. <3
Awww thank you Emily! You are perfect, exactly as you are! <3
Wow! I feel you, especially this, “Unless you’re a highly sensitive over-achiever who gets overstimulated with more than 1.25 things on your To-Do list.” … I’m always running through a to do list in my head, taking on too much, but good thing I’ve been working on it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t over commit right after I thought I had it all under control!
Ha ha haa! Agreed… just when I think I have things under control is EXACTLY when I truly don’t! 😉
Hi Tree! LOVE this article! It came at a good time for me too! I have been going through some “stuff” relating to my side business and I needed for you to talk about this. I have to tell you my story about quitting a job that was the best thing I could do for myself at the time even though I had an 8 year old daughter to support and was in the middle of divorcing her father. I was born and raised in Riverside, California. The Inland Empire! (which is not at the beach!! lol) This was the first job I ever had and it lasted over 30 years. The firm I worked for had taken me under their wings and taught me everything they knew…about the accounting business, about people and how to deal with them and about life. But that job was just too much for me ever since I gave birth to my baby girl at the age of 40. Miracle! Yes it was! It was also the beginning of the most difficult period of my life both personally and professionally. So after 8 years of trying to be a good mom, a good wife and a good employee, I QUIT! I walked out of my job, moved out of my condo and into an apartment. Never talked to the man I worked for or anybody related to that firm..ever again!!! The only thing I didn’t quit was my daughter. I was doing a crappy job with her at that time and it got worse before it got better. But it DID get better! If I hadn’t QUIT I would never have met the man who is now my husband (I love your nicknames for the man in your life.. GodMan and Zen Master!!!) I would have never found out about all of the educational opportunities for my daughter in Louisiana (yes, there were and still are great educational opportunities for the child of a single mother with NO money in Louisiana!!) I wouldn’t have a 23 year old registered nurse with a bachelor’s degree as a daughter. I wouldn’t have the man who still “rings my bells” after 15 years together. I wouldn’t have met Tree and discovered that I am an empath/HSP and not just a crazy woman!!! I still don’t have any money but that has become much less important than stability and better mental health, which is what I QUIT has given me and my little girl (not so little now lol) Is my life perfect? Nope! Has it been hard? Yep! Is it still hard? Yep! But I wouldn’t give this life away for any amount of money!!
That was my extreme experience but I can tell you that saying I QUIT doesn’t make you a loser. It takes COURAGE quit!!! Through Tree, I have found that COURAGE is one of my core values. Thank you Tree for your COURAGE by sharing yourself so deeply with others!! Thank you, Tree, for being your authentic self! I didn’t even know what that meant before I met you!!! xoxoxox
Prune yourself back Tree To produce healthier stronger branches so that the air and sunshine can get through to you Extend the deadlines .
I LOVE THIS ANALOGY, Annie!! Funny thing, I used to NEVER prune my plants because I felt really bad for the branches and leaves. I cried the first time I pruned a plant and I vocally thanked each leaf and branch as I cut them and promised them they would have fun in plant heaven. True story. I still cringe when I pick the yellowing leaves off my plants and I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT prune our rose bushes (especially since they’re supposed to be chopped to near nothing… even the healthy sections!!!), lest my whole family has to be dragged out to have a rose bush funeral with me and pay their respects. Needless to say, my boyfriend does most of the pruning around the house! 🙂 But I love this analogy and I’m going to prune, prune away on Tree!! Thank you so much!
Tree, I know this is an old post, but I gotta say something.
OMG I thought I was the only person who did this!! I have 12 years of bitter experience with a 10,000 SF yard full of unpruned things I was trying to be “nice” to. GAH! The plants don’t care, but the neighbors definitely do. 🙂
Best advice was from my BF the former landscaper: You’re just giving the plants a haircut. They appreciate it. It feels good to them. They can’t do it themselves, so they rely on you to groom them and make them grow better.
Now I have a whole new sense of guilt and obligation! LOL Mary
What a smart analogy, Annie!!! Well said!!
Ha! I was lying in bed this morning, having little anxiety attacks, my chest tightening, thinking about all the things I have to do, and wondering how the heck am I going to catch up on what I’m already behind on, and keep up with everything else! Breathe in. Breathe out. (Didn’t work). It’s refreshing to know that even my “SERENITY NOW!” Go-to girl (that’s you) also have these moments. This article came at an excellent time and is so helpful. Now to see what I can QUIT!
LOL, I love the “Serenity Now” episode of Seinfeld! Classic! And so true! Yes, if I’ve taught you anything in this life, let it be to be a quitter, ha ha! 🙂 xoxo
This is great. I’ve learned to look at and DO only one thing on my to-do list. If I finish that, great–I CAN then look at the next thing on the list. I’ve learned not to sweat it-but I do anyways! 😉
Hi Jill! Happy to see you! yes, ONE at a time… you’re right… looking at the entire list is overwhelming. I think I’m going to start putting my To-Do list on one of those tiny little post-it notes. If it doesn’t fit, it’s not important enough to sweat over.
I quit trying to quit caring too much what others think and how they respond OR DONT respond to me. It doesn’t work. I almost always feel the need to confront someone as to why did you say that THAT way? Or why did you not respond? I just HAVE to know the truth or I will make up lies. Its hard to quit caring, Even though I say IM DONE about a thousand times a day.
Rainbow Girl! Stick Girl is waiting to play with you. Play date? I love “I quit trying to quit caring too much…” So true. Trying to stop caring is a huge (impossible?) task, especially for us deep feelers who care about everything! I say, embrace the fact that you care so deeply… even though caring hurts like hell sometimes. The irony is that we then try not to care that we care too much. And then we try not to care that we care about caring. But the truth is, we never stop caring, no matter how much we deny or try. So you’re right on the mark: to quit trying! Care to make sense of that? 😀
It’s an impossible task. Someone told me.once there is no trying….just doing.You can’t do or undo feelings….they just are!
I quit too. Except I think I wouldn’t mind if the earth stopped spinning.
this statement makes me sad. 🙁 But I get it. Totally understand where you’re coming from. Sending loving vibes to you, Red.
Ok so this happened to me, mere hours before I got your email about this article. I’m not anyone’s success story (LOL), but I did have a phone conversation with my boyfriend that went similar to your texts. I laughed out loud because my guy is the same way- which is why I call him the Zen Master. I’m glad I saw your article. Thank you for giving me an important reminder that I needed today. Good luck to you in accomplishing everything you want in a time frame that allows for your sanity
You’re welcome, Jess! Does the Zen Master also have no feelings or sensitivity? My Godman thought he was the only one. I will have to tell him there’s another that walks the earth just like him. 😉 lol. Glad this article came at the right time for you and happy to help!
Lol emotions and sensitivity don’t come naturally to him, but he’s done his own work for himself. Tell Godman he’s not the only one! Peace Love & Adventure to you!
Awesome! Love it!! Thanks!
I have been quitting alot in the past year or two …
ZeeZara! Missed you! Happy to see you’ve been quitting too! You’re way ahead of me!
Oh Tree – you said it all perfectly for me! I quit too!
Sherry! So happy to see you here. And so happy to quit alongside you. 🙂