Everywhere I look, I see “Happy New Year!” plastered in my inbox and across social media. But we’re 3 days in to the new year and what if… you’re not happy?
Off to a bad start, eh?
Here’s a thought…
Don’t try to be happy this year.
Better yet, be okay with whatever you feel this year, whether it’s happy, sad, mad, or glad. A fast path to true, inner happiness is acceptance of what is. The fastest path is appreciation for what is. But sometimes that’s too big a leap, so we start with acceptance and ease our way into appreciation. When you accept the present moment, no matter what, you tune in to a different, more open energy and that’s when you’re in a better position to feel happiness.
Just think about the last time you felt unhappy. What did you do about it? Did you try to change your mood or do something to try to feel happy? Did you start questioning your life and think of all the ways you wish it could change so you can be happy? Did you blame someone else for your unhappiness? Did you take a course or read a book in an effort to get happy? Did you slap on a fake smile? Did you identify with your unhappiness and think there was something wrong with you or your life because you weren’t happy? Or did you do nothing but cry, wishing you could feel better?
All of those reactions point to one thing: RESISTANCE. You are at war with yourself, life and others, when you resist anything that’s happening to or from you. It’s a never-ending cycle that feeds itself. You’re sad, and that doesn’t feel good, so you try to change it or wish it could be different, but it doesn’t work, so you get mad, then that doesn’t feel good either, so you try to change it or wish it could be different, but it doesn’t work, so you get desperate and feel helpless, but that doesn’t feel good either so you try to change it…. And on and on we go in an endless war of identification with our pain.
Aren’t you tired of fighting?
Aren’t you totally and utterly exhausted?
Whose war is this, anyway?
Who are you fighting against?
What if… you stopped fighting?
What if… you let go of resistance?
What if… you give in to feeling sad? Or mad. Or helpless. Or anything you’re feeling in the moment?
It doesn’t mean you’ve given up on life, it means you’ve given up on resistance to life. You let the invisible opponent win.
You say out loud, “There you go, invisible opponent of this war I’ve been fighting… whoever you are. You win. I officially declare that I am unhappy. And I am OKAY with it.”
And in that declaration of acceptance of where you are, YOU win!
You may even realize that there was no opponent all along. You’ve simply been fighting yourself, and your life.
That’s why you’ve been so miserable. You’re a lover, not a fighter. So you’ve been pretending to be someone you’re not. No wonder you’re exhausted.
How about this year, we simply strive to BE who, what, how and why we are – in any given moment. I don’t care about how you feel anyway, I only care about YOU who feel.
Want to join me in this lack of caring?
It’s liberating, trust me.
Let’s not get bogged down in our emotions, let’s rise up in our BEING-ness.
Let’s become witnesses to our emotional highs and lows, rather than the roller coaster itself.
Let’s aim for a new year of loving, not fighting, surrendering, not resisting, and witnessing, not identifying.
With that said, I wish you a very peaceful and “Don’t-try-to-be-Happy New Year!”